Turkeys and Toes

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

This is our year to spend with hubby's family. All 40 or so extended family members - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

The great thing is - we get to see family we haven't seen in a long time.

The drawback to that is - they go out to eat at a true Pennsylvania Dutch Family Restaurant.

Turkey, sausage, ham, potatoe filling, dried corn, boiled sweet potatoes, and homemade applesauce and pies. (That last part is my favorite part of the meal)

Miss M has been questioning hubby about why his family doesn't cook. She wants REAL food, or so she says. See Miss M has finicky tastebuds. She doesn't eat turkey unless it is really moist white meat, without gravy. (No such luck for that at this restaurant)

She will only eat real MASHED potatoes - no filling with celery and onions for her (that would be eating veggies!)

And the dried corn - well one word sums that up - YUCK!

And she is not a pie person. At All.

Add to the fact, we eat with the family as noon - and she wanted to know how we were going to have any leftovers - since she will be hungry by 5 or 6pm and the restaurant does not do doggie bags.

Well, crockpot to the rescue!

I have decided I am cooking a turkey in my crockpot while we are out with the family. I can make the mashed potatoes, and CANDIED yams, and real corn once we get home. Along with biscuits and gravy. Not a Traditional Thanksgiving meal, but a meal we will be Thankful for - with leftovers too!

Miss M is very THANKFUL about having a second chance at Thanksgiving Dinner.

Now you may be asking yourself - where do Toes come into this post.

Well....in all my poise and grace, I stumbled (or actually fell) down the last three steps in our house yesterday morning. In my socked feet. As I was on my way out the door - after I was able to see straight - I shoved my foot into a pair of shoes and went on my merry way.

I was babysitting my nephew while my brother-in-law and his wife had an ultrasound of their twins. I took my shoes off when I got to their house. And kept them off for 2-3 hours.

I couldn't get the one back on. At. All.

I hobbled out to my van and drove home. Took off my shoes and socks, and guess what greeted me? An ugly, swollen, black and blue toe. 4th toe, right foot. (Yes, driving home was quite uncomfortable)

So I called my foot doctor and he could see me today. So in I went, along with Miss M and Drewby, because they were off from school.

3 x-rays and an exam later - it has been decided my toe is NOT broken. It is badly sprained with a torn ligament.

In other words, more painful than a broken toe.

So, I have been hobbling around with one sneaker on and one slipper on - because no shoe will fit over my toe.

Oh, and please recall I have hubby's 20th year reunion this weekend. Yeah right. I am really hoping the swelling goes down so I can at least get my foot into a pair of heels to walk into the reunion, and slip out of them once I sit down.

I can hope anyway.

But I will enjoy my Thanksgiving - both dinners, and the time with family.

I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Tree Competition

Healthy competition is a good thing, right?

The school hosted a Holiday Breakfast with Santa over the weekend, and it raised almost $3,000 for the school. YEAH!

One of the decorations was that each grade had a Christmas tree to decorate as it chose. Drewby is in 1st Grade and Miss M is in 5th Grade. All in all there were 10 trees decorated by kids in grade Pre-School through 8th Grade.

All of the trees were absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

And each patron to the breakfast received a ticket to vote for their favorite tree.

Well, Drewby's class decided - with some help from some moms - to do a "Visions of Sugar Plums" tree. It was all decked out in CANDY. Real Candy Canes, candy canes the kids made from licorice and mini-marshmallows, gumdrop balls, applesauce-cinnamon cut-outs, glass ornaments filled with Skittles, Nerds, Sweet Tarts, and a hand-made gingerbread man as a topper! Then each 1st grader made two ornaments from a sugar, water, and glitter mixture, which once hardened - one was hung on the tree and the other will be a gift for the nuns at the Villa.

Miss M's 5th Grade class decided on a Natural Tree. They dried orange and apple slices, covered pine cones with peanut butter and birdseed, strung popcorn and cranberries, and filled in with poinsettias and berry sprays. Their tree SMELLED wonderful and looked professionally done. (I am SO glad the teacher steered them toward this idea because one of the other ideas were a Video Game tree)

Well, the votes were counted, and the results are in. Drewby's grade won with 120 votes. The prize, a Pizza Party in class!

Miss M's class came in 2nd place with 93 votes.

I am VERY happy I was a volunteer working at this breakfast and not an attendee - I would have only had one vote and not been able to choose between the two!

My kids are not yet aware of the results. I know my kids love each other - but they are both certain that their tree was the best. And, as siblings often do, they have a competitive streak between them.

SO - I am hoping the school waits until AFTER Thanksgiving break to tell the students the results.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

How Quickly Time Flies

Hello again!

I cannot believe I've been away from BloggyLand for SOOOO Long!

We've had quite an interesting 6 weeks or so.

I'd love to write about it all, but there is just no way - so I will highlight for you:

Halloween was uneventful - my Darth Vader and Rennaissance Princess trekked around the neighborhood with DH and I stayed put to hand out candy.

We found out Miss M not only needs braces - but needs this strange contraption called a Herbst Device placed in her mouth. More on that in a separate post.

Hubby started a new position with his current employer. He is now working a "normal" shift - permanent 3rd shift: Sunday - Thursday nights 10:45pm - 6:45am. This is a good thing - but has taken some adjusting to.

I have successfully made it through yet another HUGE school fundraiser - we served over 600 breakfasts this morning.

And finally - back full circle from where I last left off - Drewby is sick again. I can hear the doctor now...Back to the ENT specialist for another set of tubes in the ears! (I really hope not)

Anyway - I am hoping to be back on-line and posting and checking in with all of you on a more regular basis now.

Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Weekend Recap in 90 Seconds or Less

Friday night was movie night as Drewby was sick.

Saturday was football and more football as Drewby's team played in the morning (yes, even sick he went and played - he had no fever) and Miss M had to cheer for her team that evening.

Saturday afternoon - we went to Mass, as we were going away all day Sunday.

Drewby had a rough time at the evening game - the cool air hurt his ear.

Dinner with friends and their kids after the game - Table for 9 please!

Sunday was spent at the Renaissance Faire with Lizzie and Kiki.

The kids had a great time hanging out with (mom and dad) Nana and Kiki.

Here's some fun highlights from the day - Drewby and Miss M were properly trained by a squire and wench as to how to greet the Queen, Drewby was knighted by the Queen, Miss M learned Peasant Dances, and we all cheered "God Save The Queen"- in our best British accents - way too many times!

We also all ate (drank) way too much food (beer/wine)! (More on this day in another post)

Monday was a day off school - and a lazy day to rest from Sunday's walking, walking, and more walking.

Other than that - it was a pretty normal weekend!

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

This Was My Day

Let me tell you about my last few mornings.

Hubby has been working nights, so he has come home and gone right to bed in the morning.

This has meant I am getting both kids up, dressed, ready, fed and out the door for school - all by 7:40am.

Not typically a big deal. I've done this many, many times before.

(Now would be a good time to mention that during ALL of last school year, Miss M had perfect attendance and Drewby missed only two days with a stomach bug.)

So, Wednesday morning I go in to wake Drewby at the typical 6:30am.

He was so not in a good morning mood (which he typically is - he's my morning child)

There was fussing, and crying, and pulling the covers up over his head.

There was foot stomping, and more crying.

I. Was. Not. Happy. (nor was I the model mommy that morning - there was some yelling)

Finally - at 7:25am I had him ready for school.

Didn't leave me too much time to get him a good breakfast though.

Luckily, Miss M had stepped up and managed to get herself ready, hair brushed and pulled back, and ate something for breakfast - toaster strudel I think.

Wednsday night - bedtime was moved up to 8:00pm from 8:30 to try and compensate for his hard morning and hope it didn't happen again.

I should also mention - he was a little sniffly the last few days.

No fever. No whining. No complaining.

Just some nose-blowing, and maybe a cough, cough here or there.

So this morning I go in to wake Drewby around 6:30am.

Once again, he is uncooperative. Covers over head.

Crying. Lying on the floor.

I finally get him into the bathroom.

His eyes are red and puffy underneath. And not from crying.

And the nose-blowing continues.

But still no fever.

Another not so great morning.

But he goes to school today. I call the doctor's office and "he should be seen" is what they tell me.

So I pick Drewby and Miss M up from school early and head to the doctor's office.

Well, no wonder he has been Mr. Miserable in the morning!

He has a sinus infection and a full-blown ear infection. So much so, that the doctor invites me to look through the little scope thing-y to see the infected ear drum.

I. Am. A. Terrible. Mom.

He had none of those classic symptoms like when he was a baby and had ear infections.

No fever. No crying. No screams when lying down.

He never even said anything hurt.

I guess I am a little out of practice on the sick child front.

Then, to make my day even better, the doctor's office has this new (at least to me - remember no sick kids for the last 15 months - at least) electronic way to send prescriptions to the pharmacy.

The doc tells me that his 4 - yes, 4 - prescriptions are sent and will be waiting for me to pick up.

So, I bring the kids home to start homework.

And me, being me, decides to call the pharmacy and check on the 'scrips.

After pushing many buttons, I finally get a live person (although I didn't get her name - this will be important later).

Yes, the 'scrips are there and will be ready around 6pm.

Now, Miss M had cheerleading practice tonight, and as hubby is working - Drewby had to tag along. (Drewby also had football practice, and participated in some things but not all)

After practice - 7:30pm - we head to the pharmacy to pick up the 'scrips.

I hit the drive thru - you know, because it is me and two, tired kids.

Here's the conversation with the pharmacy tech:

PT: "Name"

Me:"Drewby"

After a bit of time looking
PT:"When did you drop it off?"

Me:"It was sent electronically around 3:30pm"

PT"We don't have any 'scrips for that name here"

Me:"I called to find out a time for pick up and was told yes the 'scrips were here and they would be ready by 6pm"

PT: (clearly annoyed) "Who did you talk to?"

Me: "I didn't get a name - it was a woman"

PT:"Please wait."

After a good 3-4 minutes the pharmacist comes to the window.

Yes she remembers seeing the 'scrips come in, someone asking when they would be ready by and telling them 90 minutes.

But they are nowhere now - would I mind waiting for about 10-15 minutes for the 'scrips to be reprocessed and prepared?

Would I mind - yes!

Did I have a choice - No!

So the kids and I park, go inside and wait. And wait.

We finally got home around 8:15pm.

And now, Drewby has a fever. Low grade, but still a fever.

Drewby took his medicine and went straight to bed. After blowing his nose for like 10 minutes straight.

I guess Drewby will not be getting perfect attendance this year either.

There is still hope for Miss M and another perfect attandance award...the doctor gave them both their flu shots today while we were there!

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

And the Votes Are In!

So yesterday was Election Day at the kid's school.

All children heard speeches on Monday from the upper class mates running for Student Government President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasurer.

In their own classrooms, each candidate had to give a short speech about why they would make the best classroom rep to Student Government.

Miss M and Drewby both gave their campaigns their best effort.

Votes were cast on Tuesday and results were announced this morning.

At pick up this afternoon...the looks on their faces said it all.

Drewby and Miss M were both defeated by other students.

Miss M took the loss in stride...this was (after all) her 5th attempt at a Representative spot.

Drewby took the loss a little bit harder.

But he was pleased with the little girl who won for his classroom.

I was also very proud of Miss M.

She clapped for the winner of her class and made it a point to personally go over and congratulate her after the announcement.

Miss M actually seemed a bit shocked the other losing candidates did not do this.

Miss M is really growing into quite a young woman.

She has her moments when she shows us through her actions and words, that for the last 10 1/2 years she has been listening, and paying attention to know what is the right thing to do in situations.

It does appear that next year, Miss M will not be running for office again.

After 5 years, she is (finally) abandoning her political aspirations.

Drewby on the other hand, made it a point in the van to talk about how he will change his campaign for next year.

And how he hopes a certain little girl is NOT in his class next year!

At least we have a year to prepare....not that I am that organized!

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

A Final Celebration

As I celebrate my anniversary with my husband, we have been shocked into a reality we have not yet had to deal with.

My friend's husband passed away yesterday, after complications from the heart surgery.

She will now spend what would have been his 42nd birthday, celebrating his life one final time as she buries him.

She will not have the opportunity to celebrate their marriage again, as their anniversary would have been next week.

Instead of preparing for what should have been a week of birthday and anniversary celebrations, she is trying to figure out many other things.

Things my hubby and I have not really talked about.

Life insurance...where are the policies, how much, what terms.

Health insurance...how much longer will the kids be covered before having to get alternate insurance?

Mortgage insurance...do we have it? Is the mortgage paid off in this event?

Car payments...how much is still owed? What is the resale value?

Bank accounts, investment accounts...how many, where are they, passwords, value?

So while I celebrate with my husband, we both realize that there are things we need to discuss and prepare for.

While I am not looking forward to these discussions, I know they must be had. And I know, that should something happen to either one of us...it will help the other one of us get through an already difficult time.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

To My Husband

Today, hubby and I celebrate 13 years of marriage.

There are times it feels like we have been together forever...and other times it seems like it cannot be 13 years already.

In celebration of this anniversary, I would like to take this time to list 13 things I love about my hubby.

1. He makes me laugh. Everyday.

2. He believes in me, even when I don't believe in myself.

3. He is a hard worker, and good provider.

4. His personality shines - brightly when needed, and allows me to shine as well.

5. His hugs....strong, close, and warm.

6. He is a wonderful father to our children.

7. His patience - with me, the kids, and life.

8. He gives more of himself than I could ever ask. From working with Miss M on math homework before he leaves for work, volunteering time to coach Drewby's football team to helping around the house when I am consumed with my depression/anxiety or volunteer duties.

9. His positive outlook on life (I could use some of that to rub off on me!)

10. He can cook!

11. He knows what little things mean the most to me...from foot rubs and back stratching to chocolate and sleeping in.

12. He accepts me as I am....whether my anxiety and depression are in full force, or under control.

And last, but certainly not least,

13. He loves me....unconditionally and totally, through all the good and bad times we've had....and all that are yet to come.

So, as I celebrate 13 years of marriage to this wonderful man of my dreams, I want to thank him...for all the things listed above, and all the things I haven't listed.

Thank you for the last 13 years of marriage, for giving me two wonderful children, and for all the little gifts, and large sacrifices.

I love you honey, and always will.



Til next time, I'll still be...


Happily married, and


Being Brenda

Continued Prayers

On Friday I posted about some misfortunes to the hubbies of two of my dear friends, as well as my mom.

My mom is still in pain; however, she is moving around - although slowly. She never did go to the doctor or ER.

I have not heard back from my friend whose hubby was in the car accident.

I do know her hubby is home. They have a hospital bed set up in their family room for him, and home nurses are coming daily to help her with his care.

We continue to pray for this family daily.

My dear friend, and neighbor just left my house.

Her hubby is still in the hospital, after emergency open heart surgery from an aortic tear.

He is awake now, but has suffered from some complications, which they are hoping will resolve themselves.

His kidneys are not functioning properly, although they are functioning which is a good sign.

He is also having difficulty moving his right side, as well as speaking. The doctors have stated that speech is controlled by the same area/side of the brain as right side movement, and that this will come in time, along with some therapy.

Please continue keeping these dear friends of mine in your prayers.

They are both amazing women, and have families to continue caring for as well as husband's now needing more than all their wives have to give.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Playing Favorites

I am in a very awkward situation.

When hubby and I got married, nearly 13 years ago, I knew I was not favored by my future in-laws.

I came from a single parent household, was a well-educated, and a self-sufficient young woman.

I had a career.

My husband openly admitted to me he was the first-born (of 5 kids) in his family, but so not the favorite.

My in-laws did not welcome me openly into their family.

Matter of fact, the picture of hubby and I on our wedding day with his family places he and I in the back row. You cannot even see my whole face!

Basically you see my eyes and veil.

Yes, this picture still hangs in their living room.

It has, to say the least, made for some awkward family gatherings.

Fast forward to the present day.

Miss M is the oldest of my in-laws grandchildren, and is the only grand-daughter.

Drewby is the third born grandchild.

There are currently 6 grandchildren, with two more on the way.

Here is my predicament.

Drewby plays flag football every Saturday morning at 9:30am.

Emily cheers every Sunday at 2pm. Field hockey games are only played at two tournaments all fall, one was last weekend, one is the end of October.

Now, hubby's next youngest brother, has 3 boys. Two, M and J play soccer. Every Saturday and Sunday.

My in-laws also watch these boys and their younger brother, three days a week - and always have.

So here was my conversation with Drewby today.

D: "Mommy, are grandma and grandpa coming to my game today?"

Me: "Oh, I don't know sweety"

Hubby: "I don't know. I haven't heard from or talked to my parents all week."

(Let me digress here for a moment. I think this says TONS about hubby's relationship with his parents. I cannot imagine going a whole week without talking to my mom at least once. My dad is a different story altogether, for another time.)

D: "But why don't they come see my games. They go to M and J's games every weekend."

Here is where I, as well as hubby, were stumped.

We didn't realize Drewby, in his nearly 7 years of life, would be so aware of this fact.

My in-laws play favorites.

And my kids aren't it.

Miss M has made the same observation.

To date, my in-laws have come to one of Miss M's games to see her cheer (arrived late and left right after half-time), one of Drewby's football games, and one of her field hockey games.

Some weekends, they go to up to two or three soccer games for the nephews.

I am trying to be a bigger person and find a way to explain the in-laws behavior to my kids.

However, I am really getting tired of not only having the in-laws treat me poorly, but now my kids.

Hubby claims that his parents are not "football" people.

Really?

It's their grandkids. I don't think it should matter what they are playing.

So I figure I have a few options here:

1) Continue status quo and just tell my kids that grandma and grandpa had other plans and couldn't make it even though they do ( cough, cough) try.

2) Tell the kids as it is. Grandma and grandpa prefer to go see M and J because they (like them better) play soccer, and that it a sport they like to watch.

3) Have Miss M and Drewby ask grandma and grandpa this question themselves. And see what is said.

or 4) Call my in-laws and give them a piece of my mind!

Numbers 2 and 4 would probably start an argument with hubby, so not the way I want to go.

Number 1 is what I have been doing and am really tired of it.

So, I am left thinking Number 3 it is.

Actually, I would like to just make a point of NOT involving my in-laws is any way in our lives, but I don't think that is an option.

Hubby stays pretty low key over this, as he is used to having favorites played.

He firmly believes in just accepting his parents, and the way they treat our kids, and having our kids do the same.

What do you think?

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Prayer Request

This week has been a roller coaster.

I found out early in the week that a close friend's husband had been in a severe car accident.

Thanks to God, and his seatbelt, he is still alive; although he has a very long road to recovery. His wife is currently pregnant with their third child, on partial bedrest, so it is a very difficult time for her.

We have been praying for their family all week.

Then mid-week, we received some wonderful news.

Let me back track.

My sister-in-law is expecting twins. She is 19 weeks along.

About 9 weeks ago, she began having problems and it was discovered she had a hematoma (sp?) between one placenta and her uterus.

She was placed on complete bedrest.

This week, she went for another ultra-sound. The hematoma has been absorbed and is no longer a threat to the babies!

That was great news!

Fast forward to Wednesday night.

Hubby was home as it was his night off, and I was at a Home & School board meeting.

When I got home, hubby told my to place my key to our neighbor's (and friends) house under her front door mat. I asked him why.

Her hubby, who also works night shift (although somewhere different from my hubby) was rushed to the hospital from work.

She dropped her kids off at home from football practice with her house keys, and went to the hospital.

Until her oldest son got home from work, I was watching her 3 boys.

We heard nothing from her until the next morning.

She called at 7:25am on Thursday to ask for our prayers.

Her husband suffered an aortic tear and was in open heart surgery.

They gave him a 50/50 chance to live. He is 41. (This, I believe, is the same thing responsible for the death of actor John Ritter because his was not diagnosed in time)

My neighbor's hubby did survive the operation but his condition is still critical. He is in a drug induced coma at least through tomorrow to keep his blood pressure down.

And now tonight, I received a call from Lizzie, my mom.

She is home, in bed, having thrown her back out at work.

While she has had issues with her back for years, she told me on the phone that this is different pain. She is in pain lying in bed, but can barely stand or walk at all.

However, she will not go to the ER until tomorrow - despite my urging otherwise.

So, I ask for your prayers....

For the husband's of two of my dear friends - that they have full and speedy recoveries, at least as speedy as can safely be done.

For my two friends - to have the strength to continue being wonderful wives and moms, while handling everything which accompanies supporting their husbands through these difficult times.

For my sister-in-law - that all continues going well and the babies are healthy

And for my mom...that whatever is wrong with her back, is nothing serious and she recovers quickly.

I truly believe in the power of prayer....and any additional prayers from the blogosphere can only help these people close to me.

Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Campaign Central

So it is that time of the year again - Election time!

For Student Government, that is.

Both of my kids have decided to run for their respective classroom Representative positions.

For Miss M, this will be the fifth year she will be running (yes, she has run each year since 1st grade - unsuccessfully - but remains determined)

For Drewby, this is the first year he is able to run.

Tonight was campaign poster making night. Drewby came up with the idea for his poster...and I helped a little on the computer and with the big cutter.

"Score a Touchdown...Vote for Drewby" is his slogan. He put his face on a flying football...very cute.

He is one of 12 kids in his class (of 23) running for class representative.

Miss M was in total control of hers. It is filled with a picture of her, her slogan "Your choice for a New voice", and traits she possesses which would make her a good rep.

Oh and we cannot forget the pink hearts, yellow stars, and green clovers...just kidding (about the green clovers).

She is one of 9 kids, out of 22 running for class rep.

Tomorrow night will be sticker making night (since we don't have the button making gadget we do round stickers).

And there is a strict policy of no candy hand-outs. (that was Drewby's first choice!)

Which is a good thing as one of the girls in Miss M's grade is our State Reps daughter. The one year she ran, there were helium balloons with her name on them as a hand-out.

I don't even try to compete with that!

Then, they will both have speeches to write and the weekend to work on presenting them.

Next Monday is Rally Day, when they will each give their speech to their classes.

And next Tuesday, is Election Day.

It is a busy week for a 6 and 10 year old - on top of homework and sports.

Of course, I am way more into this campaign than the actual political campaign going on. (On that front I am still undecided.)

As for our homefront campaign - I know who my choices would definitely be.

Oh that's right - only the students get to vote!

So I will wait (impatiently) for the results of this election to come in next Wednesday.



Til next time, I'll still be...



Being Brenda

Why Do I Do It?

I do this to myself every year.

I volunteer for too many things, all occurring at - or about - the same time.

Case in point.

I have been in charge of our parish's Christmas Craft Bazaar for 3 years now.

I know that I need to start working on this event well before September 23rd.

(Or at least I should know that!)

I am also on the Home & School Board for the kids school.

As fundraising coordinator.

Which basically means I am in charge of at least one event per month.

It also means I am responsible for requesting donations of items for each of these events.

So the fact that we have one large event this Friday (September), two events in October and a huge Holiday Breakfast event, all before Thanksgiving break is a bit much.

Oh, and remember the craft bazaar?

Well, I am at that point where I am getting frazzled.

Too much to do, and not enough time.

Hubby says I need to remember this feeling and learn to say "No".

Problem is....I have a hard time saying no to the kids school.

As a private school, there is a lot our kids do without, or we as parents provide, that public school kids get due to state funds.

So anytime I am asked to step up to the plate....I think about what our kids will miss out on if I say "No".

One of the problems is, while the school is a nice size (300+ kids), our volunteer base is very small.

It is the same people, volunteering their time, over and over again.

Which amazes me.

Our children, who all go to school together, all participate in various community service projects throughout the year.

Some events are done in school; others the kids do on their own.

This is to remind them to give of themselves: their time, talent, and treasures, for the benefit of Our Lord.

But why is it the parents find it so hard to give of themselves?

I remember what it was like to be a working parent with a full time job.

I really do.

But I still volunteered - at least two to three events a year, and some classroom help mixed in.

Yes, the tuition covers a good portion of what it costs for the kids to attend this school.

However, there is a large amount not covered by tuition.

And this is where our fundraising efforts come into play.

We raise funds for new computer software, new textbooks, and new curriculums.

Without our H&S events, their children's tuition would increase.

I wish parents looked at a Catholic school education as less of a burden and more of a chance to really live their lives, as they (are paying) to have their children taught.

Giving of your time, talent, and treasure to benefit our Lord.

So, I will continue to juggle my volunteer duties in with my other duties as a mom, wife, and homemaker...because it is a small investment to ensure my kids know we "walk the walk".

(Sometimes, I just need a few "down" moments to remind myself of why I do what I do)

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Anyone know where to find my husband's evil twin?

Not really a twin....but definitely evil.

Seems someone has gotten my husband's debit card numbers, our address and has been having some fun.

We noticed some suspicious holds on our account over the weekend.

The bank was SO (not) helpful.

Until the holds actually come through our account we can do nothing.

In the meantime, we have had two packages delivered to our house.

One is from a company that has a hold on our account.

The other is a totally different company.

The wierd thing is, it is hubby's name, our address, but different phone numbers.

(If someone wanted to buy stuff on our account...why would they have it shipped here?)

Unless they know we are typically not home when UPS delivers to our block.

Which is the case most days - but today my neighbor, who is usually at work, was home and signed for the boxes and stayed outside until hubby got home. (One of the boxes is rather large)

Needless to say - we have spent hours on the phone trying to sort this mess out.

The Bank still cannot do anything about the fraudulent charges as they haven't actually hit our account yet.

So, we have to close out our debit cards and get new ones.

But can I tell you how inconvenient this is.

Not only with the typical stuff of having to put alerts on our account, and close cards, etc.

It just so happens that this week, this week, I have MAJOR shopping to do for a school fundraising event.

Now I typically do all my shopping with my debit card. I rarely have more than $20 in cash on me.

So now, I will have to carry enough cash - or continue to hit a bank to cash checks.

So anyway, if anyone sees the evil twin....get my hubby's identity back.

Til next time, I'll still be...(hopefully the only one)

Being Brenda

What a Week!

I cannot believe it has been so long since I've had a chance to post.

Mondays are our "free days" here. No one has any after school or evening activities. So that was my last chance to post.

One of the things making this week so crazy is Miss M's homework.

She is technically in 5th grade - but her and some other kids have tested for placement into 6th grade math.

She can totally handle the work, understands the math concepts - it is the sheer volume of homework.

She has 30 math problems each night. Most of which have multiple steps, with all work needing to be shown.

Add onto that, spelling - written word definitions, and sentences.

Then she has social studies - writing key words and definitions, as well as the occassional worksheet.

Then she has English - at least a page or two of various English papers (definitions, dictionary skills, etc.)

Then she has science - questions or worksheets or definitions. Oh and she has a biome project due in 10 days.

Then she has reading - typically review/reread the story and answer questions in writing. Or read pages in the current novel being read. (Big project subject)

Then she has Religion - which at the 5th grade level is very conceptual, and requires a significant amount of rereading and discussion. (another big project subject)

Add onto all this homework, which has been taking approx. 2 1/2 hours each night - two nights of cheerleading practice and two nights of field hockey practice.

Now the diocese has established homework guidelines for each grade level. For 5th grade, the guideline is 60-90 minutes per night.

I have talked to other parents, and this is not just happening with Miss M. Many of the students are taking 2 - 3 hours to complete the assigned homework each night.

Thank goodness I pick the kids up at school and she is home by 3pm. She ends up doing homework until 5pm when we leave to go to various practices. Then we are home by 8:30pm, she eats and finishes her homework, showers, and gets to bed around 10pm.

So here is my question, is this typical homework for a 5th grader? (Miss M is my firstborn - so I really don't know what to expect)

I also cannot ask any 5th grade parents from last year - as this is the first year the school has allowed advanced placement of 5th graders into 6th grade math.

What do you all think? What has been your experience?

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Quiet Time

Finally, time to myself.

Not to sound selfish - but we have had a busy weekend with rain, car troubles, two sleepovers (at our house) and two football games.

I am just now getting some "me time".

I don't get uninterrupted "me time" often.

And I have nothing glamorous happening during "me time"...just a clean house (well, okay - first floor) , kids are in bed, hubby is at work, and all volunteer responsibilities are packed away.

I love my kids and hubby - but I look forward to this kind of night.

No one needing my attention.

No one changing the TV channels constantly.

No flyers to create or fundraisers to plan.

And time to do whatever I want to do.

So - my choice of things to do tonight is odd for me.

I am watching, and enjoying the Eagles/Dallas football game. (E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!!)

But I am doing this mainly because I do not have a great book to read.

I love to read, and typically always have something waiting to be read.

Lately, I've been reading John Sanford (detective novels) - but would like to expand my horizons.

Maybe a biography, or something else - where I can learn something new about history, a person, the world, or even myself.

So, I need some suggestions. What you've been reading, and what you enjoyed about the book.

Maybe then I won't spend forever in Barnes & Noble.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

I Think I'm Falling in Love....

With a grocery store!

Today was the Grand Opening of a new grocery store near the kids school.

Hubby and I just had to stop in the check it out.

WOW! WOW! No Really....WOW!

I have always loved the self checkout lanes at grocery stores. Much quicker and more efficient for me.

This particular grocery store chain has other stores in our area. One is even closer to my house than this new one - but I haven't stepped foot into that store in 10 years.

Since Miss M was a baby.

Yes - we had to fight traffic into the new shopping center.

Yes - we had to drive around to find a parking spot.

Yes - I felt like I was one half of an old, married couple with nothing better to do than scout the new grocery store (wait, I am 1/2 of an old - well not that old - married couple. And oh, we were scouting out the new store)

Now, when we walked into the store...there was a huge crowd around some kiosks with cell phone looking things.

I do not like crowds.

So, hubby and I walk past the crowd and begin to check things out.

The store has a very large organic and natural foods section. Great deli, GREAT bakery, great meat and seafood area.

And there's samples everywhere. (I love samples)

So, at this point I am diggin' this new store. It's not yet love.

As we're walking around - I notice several people pushing carts with these great blue and green canvas bags.

"What a great idea for improving our environment!"

Then I see these same people, scanning their items before placing them in these bags!

I was so excited!

I had to find out about this.

It is this great thing - you sign up by registering for one of their store saving cards - check I already have that.

Then when you walk into the store, you scan your card at this very handy station, pick up a small (cell phone looking) handheld scanner and shop.

(Did I mention the scanner has a special holder right on the cart!?)

They have also thought of everything.

Scales in the produce department to weigh and print out price labels to scan.

Regular checks of your cart and order to ensure honesty.

AND - the store has special check out lanes solely for people using this system!

And for signing up for this service - we got one FREE blue canvas bag and two flyers FULL of store coupons!

I cannot wait to shop at this store.

I am in LOVE!

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Hair Wrap Update

Okay, I must apologize for my rant yesterday.

I have calmed down and realized that continuing to obsess over the hair wrap issue at Miss M's school does me no good.

The school has rules. We follow them, just as we try to live our life as our Lord would want.

I also realized, I was not living the values we are teaching to our children.

So - after I come to this realization last night I go into the school this afternoon to pick up some papers. The principal stops me.

Long story short - she starts discussing the hair wraps. She starts by telling me she praised Miss M for following the rules and doing what is right.

Then she states she was unaware of the expense of these hair wraps - but that she cannot discuss actions taken with another student with me. Just as she would not discuss Miss M with another parent.

I get this and would not expect her to.

We also talk about how all children are given a timeframe to correct any uniform/appearance violations. And that children who violate the rules are often times questioned more by their peers than anyone.

As she did not state this child will be made to remove the wrap, I can only come to the conclusion that she has made an exception to allow this student to keep the hair wrap. Due to the cost.

Miss M says she has seen other kids ask this girl why she has not taken out her hair wrap.

I actually feel sorry for this girl. It appears to me that the mother brought the cost, and indirectly, their family's financial situation into the school. And placed this young child the center.

While I still don't agree with the school on making exceptions for uniform violations, I accept that we live by the rules, and do what is right.

And this is a valuable learning experience for Miss M and myself: That in the end, those who do what is right, while not always easy, will reap the rewards. Doing what is wrong, pointing out the wrong-doers, will not benefit us and is not righteous.

"And let us not get tired of doing what is right,

for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up. That’s why whenever we can we should always be kind to everyone, and especially to our Christian brothers."

-- Galatians 6: 9-10

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Rules...and Consequences

I am having a hard time with something.

Rules.

More specifically, how certain rules often times do not apply equally to everyone.

And it is partially me having the problem, but more so Miss M.

See, over vacation Miss M wanted so much to have one of those hair wraps put in her hair. I figured, it's the end of June, it will come unravelled or fall out by the time school starts.

And it looked quite cute on her.

So the first week of school, the children have a "Fashion Show" detailing what is appropriate to wear with their uniforms, and what is not.

You guessed it, hair wraps are not allowed. All girls were told, by the principal, to have them removed by 9/2.

And of course, Miss M's hair wrap was still fully intact.

So, Monday night - Labor Day, Aunt Kiki painstakingly used a seam ripper to remove the hair wrap and save Miss M's locks.

All last week, things were good in school.

Friday, I pick Miss M and Drewby up from school.

Here's the conversation that occurred:

M: "Mom, (girl's name) still has her hair wrap in"

Me: "Really?"

M: "Yeah, she said her mom (who works at the school as a teacher's aide) asked the principal and was told she could keep her wrap in. Why would the principal do that? All the other girls and I had to take ours out and we all listened. It's not fair."

Me: "No M, it's not fair. Are you sure you heard the principal correctly at the fashion show?"

M: "Yes. We were told we had to take them out. My teacher was even the one who asked"

Hubby was.not.happy.

Those hair wraps are pretty expensive. And I can totally understand not wanting to have to either 1) cut the hair wrap out or 2) like Kiki did, rip the wrap out and deal with the knotted mess of hair underneath.

But we, like all the others, followed the rule. Without Question.

Hubby was ready to go right back to school Friday and demand to see the principal. Luckily for me, he had to leave for work.

Had this all occurred on Thursday, I probably would have also been THAT parent on Friday morning. But it was Friday afternoon. I had all weekend to mull this over.

So, in a rare moment of brilliance, I decided to teach Miss M how to use her voice.

I told Miss M that if she didn't think this was fair - she should approach the principal for clarification. I am her mom, and will support her always. But I will not (for lack of a better phrase) fight her battles for her. She can stand on her own if she feels unfairly treated.

So on Monday, Miss M bravely spoke to the principal.

M: "Principal(P), may I ask you a question?"

P: "Sure Miss M. What can I do for you?"

M: "Did I hear you correctly at the fashion show - you stated all hair wraps were to be removed. Correct?"

P: "Yes. You heard me correctly."

M: "Well, there is a girl who still has her hair wrap in. Should I say something to her about it?" (this part was not completely done how we had rehearsed)

P:" No, and don't say any names. I will keep an eye out and when I see this girl, I will remind her it needs to be removed."

M: "Thanks!"

So we waited.

Miss M came home from school today.

M: "Mom, (girl) still has her hair wrap in. She said she was told by the principal she can keep it in until it falls out or comes unwrapped. But the principal told me she would tell her to take it out."

Now, I am more than a little disturbed.

Either, this girl is a great liar - and keeps well away from the principal.

Or, the principal lied to my daughter.

Either way - I am torn about what to do.

I do not want to be the mom that rushes into the school when something does not go my kid's way.

But I do not feel rules should be selectively applied either.

However, I know there may be exceptions made for circumstances, but then should that not be explained - as best possible - if questioned?

Please help me out here.

Should I not expect the rules to apply to all students? Should I not expect the principal to be forthright with my daughter?

Hubby is not happy that this is a school where morals and values are being taught but not reinforced.

Because what is it teaching the majority of the kids who DO follow the rules, when those few kids who do NOT follow the rules suffer no consequences?

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Miss M's Day

So, yesterday Drewby got to play football in the rain.

Today, Miss M had her day. And it was a beautiful day. 78 degrees at gametime, not a cloud in the sky (more on that later)

She was Cheer Captain today...and a climber.

To her, that was great news. Not so much for me.

Being Cheer Captain - Great!

Being a climber - not so great.

One thing Miss M enjoys more than yelling - climbing.

Now, at the age of 10, the stunts she does are not extremely difficult. But she is climbing onto other 9 and 10 year olds. All who enjoy giggling, and jumping, and yelling.

Here she is climbing on two other girls.

Immediately after I took this picture, two of the girls ended up on the ground - one being Miss M.

No one was hurt - thankfully - but this is one of my fears, as the girls do not have spotters. (I envision Miss M breaking an arm, wrist, leg, ankle - the list is practically endless)

I know, I am overprotective.

I am working to overcome this. I do not want Miss M and Drewby to be afraid to try new things for fear of getting hurt.

I do need to remind myself of this. Often.

(I have just realized how much I will dread next football season when Drewby moves to playing tackle football - and if Miss M cheers, the stunts become more difficult)

But, I digress.

Miss M had a wonderful time today. And their squad looked great for the first game. The only downside - their team lost by 6 points.

Not that you can tell, huh?

Oh, back to the weather. It was a beautiful day, yes. And obviously my concern for my children does not include sunburn. I forgot to put sunscreen on them, and both their faces are red!

Miss M even has the nice, angled neckline sunburn marks.

I will definitely be putting sunscreen in Miss M's cheer bag for next week's game!

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Are You Ready for Some Football?!

We were definitely thinking Tropical Storm Hanna's arrival here in the Northeast would have cancelled Drewby's first flag football game this morning.

Boy were we wrong!! This picture is from the beginning of the game - hubby walking him over to the field.

And this was the back of Drewby by the second half....totally drenched!

(Just in case the picture is not clear - there are raindrops dripping from his one ear, and running down his hair!)

Although the moms weren't too happy about standing, um I mean, the boys playing in the rain...the boys had a BLAST!

And TS Hanna is still wreaking havoc outside - so it's movies and video games this afternoon.

Sometimes, I love days like this (although I could have done without standing in the rain for 1 1/2 hours)....just hanging out at home with the kids having fun.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Goodbye My Friend...

It will be a bittersweet ending to a wonderful relationship.

A relationship that started slowly, a visit once a week, maybe twice, then built to an almost daily routine.

I could always count on the presence of this friend...everyday, without fail.

My dear, sweet, Starbucks.

I have come to learn, that like so many others, my local Starbucks will be closing its doors. Forever.

Oh sure, there are other Starbucks nearby, but none so convenient (as in right around the corner from my children's school)

The Starbucks where I would share coffee, lattes, or frappaccinos with other moms after drop off in the morning; where we moms would go after volunteering for lunchroom duty; and where I would take Drewby for a special treat while we waited for Miss M's French Club to be over (no I did not allow Drewby to have any coffee - although he has tasted the Frappaccinos and loves them)

Many will claim others (DD) have coffee as wonderful as Starbucks. For me, that is not so.

And while I could travel across town to the Starbucks which will remain open, I don't think I will.

Traditions are funny like that. Once something changes, the tradition itself is no longer the same. Irreplaceable.

So I will make sure to enjoy every last visit I make to my Starbucks before they close.

I will also be sure, in these most hectic of days, to enjoy every tradition our family has in place, no matter how simple, each and every time they occur. For we do not know what life holds, and it could change in an instant.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Gatorade and Ramen Noodles

This is what my diet has consisted of since Tuesday night.

I, somehow, have contracted this darn stomach bug that's (supposedly) going around. I haven't actually heard of anyone else having this - but my dear friend MiShelly says it's going around.

So, I will believe that somewhere, someone else feels as wretched as I have felt for the last two days.

Normally, I can continue about my normal routine of caring for the house and kids while sick.

Not.This.Time.

It took all I had to get the kids up and ready for school on Wednesday. (Of course, hubby was working, so I had no choice.) I managed, somehow - to drive them to school without getting sick. (I also opted for the drive-through line drop off for the first time this year. Miss M was in charge of helping Drewby out of the van and making sure to close the door.)

I then proceeded home - laid down on the sofa - and stayed there. All day. (Well, there and the bathroom)

Hubby handled Miss M's field hockey practice last night, and I did actually cook for the rest of the family. (I did eat a little of the homemade mac-n-cheese I made for them, and regretted it all night long!) Then I spent the rest of the night in bed.

It always amazes me that hubby cannot get the two kids ready for school in the morning. Three mornings a week - when he is working - I manage to get the kids up, showered (if needed), dressed, fed, lunches packed, and out the door by 7:40am. Alone.

This morning, he did get them both up. Then proceeded to wake me up - to monitor Drewby in the shower. And help Drewby get dressed. Oh, and can I go downstairs and pack their lunches and finish making breakfast.

Hubby does try his best. He is just not a well-organized morning person. Maybe it comes from him working odd shifts, and being really out of it on mornings he is home.

I helped him out this morning. And proceeded right back to bed.

Hubby has Miss M and Drewby at cheerleading and football practice right now. I have continued my Gatorade and Ramen Noodle diet.

I must be feeling better because I have cruised blogland and am actually writing this. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel normal and be able to eat real food again (because food is one of my favorite things!)

Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Labor Day Weekend

This weekend has been a whirlwind of activities.

Saturday we took the kids to the Real Pirates! exhibit at the Franklin Institute in Philly.

Drewby is really into pirates and knights right now.

The Real Pirates exhibit is about a pirate ship, the Whydah Gally, which was located off Cape Cod. There were actual cannons, guns, and pirate treasure on display.

Drewby was fascinated with the artifacts, and the fact the youngest pirate was 8 or 9 years old.

He definitely sees this as an alternative to playing football or going to school. He now has the pirate bandana, eye patch and telescope. He's all set.

Miss M liked the exhibit, but was more into the other exhibits at the Franklin, including the Sports Challenge, where her softball pitch was timed at 22 MPH. (And that wasn't even a good pitch.)

We trekked all over the Franklin, and even hit a show at the Fehls Planetarium. However, after the show, we found out the Franklin closes at 5pm.

I suppose I should have known what time the Franklin closed, but - I didn't.

And I had promised Drewby we could see the train exhibit after the planetarium show.

Did I mention the one other thing Drewby really likes is TRAINS?!?!

Needless to say, the entire drive home, as well as all evening, I had to hear how we missed seeing the trains.

Not that the kids were ungrateful for the day, or had a bad time. They just both chose to focus on what we didn't see - instead of what we did see. (I know, they take after me - as I also tend to look toward the negative and need to try harder to focus on the positive)

(Okay, I started this post Saturday night, then fell asleep - so here's the rest of the weekend's events!)

Sunday, we were once again helping my brother-in-law and his wife, by watching their 21-month old son. He only works weekends, and she is on bed rest, pregnant with twins.

So I made a big pan of lasagna and we spent the afternoon and evening at their house playing with our nephew. Once he was safely in bed around 8:30pm, our shift was over, as my brother-in-law gets home around 11:30pm.

It was a good day, and I know they truely appreciate our help.

The Monday we travelled from one end of the county to the other end, and back home.

We started at home, and just had to stop at Chik-Fil-A for the free chicken strips to anyone wearing a football logo. Miss M and Drewby each wore one of Drewby's football jerseys, and my hubby wore his Cardinals football t-shirt. I was the odd one (but I only really wanted a sweet tea anyway)

From there, we went to hubby's other brother's house for thier youngest sons 3rd birthday.

Hanging with the out-laws, um I mean in-laws, is never one of my favorite things to do. (But that is for an entirely different post)

So, we did the hubby's family for lunch, cake, and presents. (3hours and 17 minutes - start to finish)

Then we left and headed for my mom's house - Lizzie's. She had invited us over for each day of the weekend, and we had other things going, so Monday I was determined to get to see her. (Both for me and the kids)

When we pulled up - Kiki was there too, along with her girlfriend Kaleah. The kids and I were so excited!

I can't tell you the last time the kids saw Kiki, and I hadn't seen her since Neil Diamond.

So we all hung out, and ate a great meal - thanks Mom! - and just relaxed.

I love getting together with my family. And hubby doesn't mind to much either. He has pretty great in-laws (not out-laws, like I have)

Having Kiki back home from California (she lived there for 3 1/2 years) has been great. While she does live 2 hours away - it is so much better than having her across the country. We've gotten to go to the beach with her, and just hang out at mom's. Plus she will get to see the kids action in their various sports.

So that was our weekend - the kids didn't want to leave mom's house, but school was back in session today, and they needed showers and to get to bed.

We did make plans for all of us to go to the PA Renaissance Faire in October.

I figure, Drewby's gotten to see all about pirates - why not let him go see knights! And the Ren Faire to such a cool place - and Drewby has never been there. In fact, Emily hasn't been there in 6 or 7 years.

That's all for our weekend....

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Updates

This is just going to be a quick update, because I am still feeling pretty down - and I am exhausted to boot!

On the puppy watch - hubby still says it's a no go to get Drewby a pug puppy for his birthday. I have not given up yet. I have until November!!

Couponing is going okay. I don't have much of a coupon stash yet - so I am limited in my savings. Last week my total was $3.55 in coupon savings. More was saved due to Club Card savings, but I don't have that total in my head right now.

My hubby has not yet decided what to do about his BFF's wedding in October. It has been decided - mutually - that the four of us as a family are not going. He may fly down to Florida for two days to go - but will not do Disney.

Miss M has handled the mean girl well so far this year. The cheerleading coach has separated them, and Miss M steers clear of this girl both in school and at cheerleading.

And yes Diamonds are forever. The Neil Diamond concert was FAB-U-LOUS!! He put on quite a show - sang all our favorites (Forever in Blue Jeans - mine, Cracklin'Rosie - Kiki's, and I Am I Said - Lizzie's) Then the three of us had an enjoyable evening out.

That's all for the update....

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

I Am Defeated

I had such high hopes for things I wanted to accomplish this week.

With the kids back in school, I would have my days free to work on the short (and not-so-short) list of things needing to be done around the house.

I would have been content accomplishing (to the finish) just one.

Now would be a good time for me to fess up to some things:

I am a perfectionist.

I suffer, in cycles, from moderate to severe depression.

I am prone to anxiety attacks.

All in all, things have been going along well. I've not had any days of not being able to get out of bed in awhile. My last anxiety attack was just after the 4th of July. Almost two months.

And trust me - the perfectionism must come in waves because with getting ready for the kids to start school, the house in is dissarray.

So, Monday came. I missed the kids being home, running around, and being needed 24/7. I kept busy, but wasn't focused.

Nothing on the list was accomplished.

Tuesday, I had an appointment with my therapist - who has me looking for the positive in situations. Tuesday was also hubby's days off - so he and I went for a 4 mile nature walk. Here's the positive - I spent some wonderful quiet time with hubby.

Another positive from Tuesday - I'm positive nothing on the list was accomplished.

Today - I had nothing scheduled. I was taking today to accomplish something on the list.

Nope - volunteer responsibilities for the kids' school crept into the day. As fundraising coordinator for the school, an upcoming event needed attention. I did accomplish those items; however, my short-list sits next to me - with nothing crossed-off or finished.

With activities and running each night of the week, I would like my days to be more controlled, organized.

So, I am beginning to feel defeated. On a course set by someone other than me - and not in a good way.

I don't like feeling defeated, and down - and I really have to try to snap out of it or I will be on a course for a rough spell with many down days.

Look for the positive.

I walked 4 miles this week. (Good for the heart and body)

I spent quality time with my hubby. (Good for the heart and marriage)

I got to write this out - which has helped a little, because in starting this I couldn't think of anything positive in the week.

Hopefully, to anyone reading this, it didn't bring you down too.

Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

My Little Man

Today, Miss M and Drewby went back to school.

It is hard to believe Miss M is starting 5th grade and Drewby is in 1st grade.

Drewby has the same teacher Miss M had for 1st grade.

I walked Drewby to his classroom as he was a little apprehensive.

The teacher welcomed him warmly. She showed him where to place his bookbag and bag of tissues and paper towels.

He saw several friends from last year.

Then he was fine.

So fine, he walked into the classroom without giving me a hug or kiss.

I was a little (okay, more than a little) shocked.

Is this the same little boy who held my hand walking down the hall?

Who needs to sit right next to me (or on my lap) whenever he can?

Who needs to be tucked into bed several times by me to be able to sleep?

Who would give me a hug and a kiss every hour of every day if he could?

Yes, it is the same little boy, although he is not so little anymore.

He is growing up quickly, learning something new everyday.

At the end of the school day, Drewby came running right out to me and gave me that big hug I didn't get this morning.

Then he and Miss M took turns telling me all the great things that happened today.

And we all went for an ice cream cone to celebrate the beginning of a new school year, and for me to remember my kids will only be little once.

Although, Miss M will always be my baby girl and ...

Drewby will always be my little man.


Til next time, I'll still be.....

Being Brenda

How much is that puppy in the window?

Drewby has always been in love with dogs.

Big dogs, small dogs.

Quiet dogs, yippee dogs.

Even stuffed dogs (he has four stuffed dogs - one is as old as he is. He got it when he was born and it is still his favorite)

He has been asking for a puppy dog for half of his life...no lie. He's six - so it's been 3 years.

At first we told him no because the dogs he wanted we too large for our small house.

Plus Miss M has a fear of most all dogs - she was bitten - twice- when she was 2.

Lately, his requests have been for smaller dogs.

King Charles Spaniel...smaller, but expensive.

Boston Terrier...smaller, but needs lots of yard to run around.

Well, the other night at Miss M's cheerleading practice, one of the families brought one of their pug puppies.

I had never actually seen a pug in person before.

This puppy was too cute. Small, laid back, doesn't require a lot of excercise (great for a small yard).

Even Miss M liked the pug pup.

The pug pup let Drewby pet him, Drewby let the pug lick him.

Drewby was in heaven. (I was, as usual, a little grossed out. I don't like dogs licking my face)

He then, very causually, looks at the mom and asks,

"How much did the puppy cost?"

After explaining to Drewby this was not an appropriate question, I did talk with the mom about the benfits and concerns with pugs.

I am convinced this would be the perfect dog for Drewby.

At 6 years old, he is starting to spread his wings and want some independence and responsibility. He does small chores and likes to help out whenever he can.

I look at this as a wonderful opportunity to provide him with a lifelong pal, but also a way for him to show his maturity.

There is One. Small. Problem.

My hubby. He wants no animals while we live in this small house, with a very small yard.

He is convinced he will be the one walking the dog, feeding the dog, and cleaning up after the dog.

I am not so sure.

Drewby has asked every single night since he first saw the pug, if he can please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please get a puppy.

He has told me he will take it for walks, and feed it, and play with it. And it can even sleep with him.

I think, no, I know Drewby will rise to the occasion if he were to get a dog.

He has waited half his life for us to say yes - he can have a dog.

It would make him so proud to know that he is responsible for the dog.

And, even though that means my baby boy is growing up, I think that is a good thing.

So, I have undertaken the huge job of convincing my dear hubby that we should, either for his birthday or Christmas, go ahead and get Drewby a pug puppy.

I will let you know how I make out.



Til next time, I'll still be.....



Being Brenda

Starting Line

Okay, so after reading so many bloggers who have cut their grocery bills using coupons, I have decided to give it a shot.

This was also spurred on by me actually finding - and cutting - several coupons two weeks ago and saving $5.45 from my grocery bill in coupons. (I actually saved more as we are Club Card holders to this store)

So, I got a binder and some trading card sleeves.

I went through all the coupon inserts from last Sunday's paper (grabbing them before they went out for recycling)

And now I have gone through almost every grocery store sales flyer.

I am ready.

I know our family has room to lose in our grocery budget.

With the kids heading back to school - I should be able to cut some spending right from the get go.

It typically costs our family $650-700 per month in groceries.

I am hoping I can cut that down to $350-400 per month. I figure by putting this self-challenge out here for all to see, it will help with accountability or willpower or whatever you call it.

Wish me luck!!

And send me any of your tips for saving at the store.

I will keep you posted as to my progress on this.

Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Back to School Time

I cannot believe summer is coming to an end.

Miss M and Drewby will be starting school on Monday.

Class lists came out, school supply and uniform shopping has been done.

Last year, we decided to forego the cheap "character" backpacks for the kids and invest in really good backpacks. And it was a good decision. Both Miss M's and Drewby's backpacks are in great shape still.

That is not good news to a 10-year old.

Backpacks - to my Catholic school, uniform wearing children - are the equivalent of name-brand clothes to public school students.

I had no idea.

Miss M is horrified that someone will notice she is using the same backpack from last year.

Here was the conversation:

Miss M: "Can I get one of these backpacks for school?"

Me: "No, we bought you a good backpack last year and it is still in good shape."

Miss M: "Please Mom?"

Me: "No, you're using your backpack from last year."

Miss M: "Are you serious?"

Me: "Yes, I'm serious. You're backpack is still fine."

Miss M: "You know, I will be, like, the only one using the same backpack. All the cool backpacks are like this (holding up a backpack the looks very similar in style - just a different color/pattern to what she already has - with a price tag of $59.99)"

Me: "Well, I'm sorry honey but that's just the way it is. Your backpack is in fine shape."

Miss M: "You so don't get it. This is the cool backpack - I will look stupid with my old backpack."

Me: "You will not look stupid."

Miss M: "Whatever. You don't get it."


Maybe I don't get it.

But we had spent almost that much on her backpack last year - with the intention that it would last for two years.

And she knew that. She spent hours (well, maybe not hours, but a long time) picking out her current backpack.

We also still had new uniforms to purchase for both Miss M and Drewby, as well as both school shoes and sneakers. (Miss M has moved up into skorts and polo shirts from the jumper dress.)

So I was staying firm on no new backpacks.

Then I got to thinking about back to school shopping when I was a kid.
(I went to public school.)

I always looked forward to that shopping day - the new jeans (I remember my first pair of Jordache jeans), new tops, and sneakers.

I always had an entire new outfit on the first day of school.
(My mom probably still has all those pictures)

Miss M and Drewby have not ever had that experience. Going out and shopping for a whole new "wardrobe".

Each summer, we go to one store - the uniform store, and buy clothes that look exactly like what everyone else in the school will be wearing.

They have other clothes too, but we purchase things here and there.

Never all at once.

So now Miss M has asked for a pair of Marc Echo Red sneakers.

They're a new name brand. Vanessa Hudgens wears them - or, at least does in the commercials.

The equivalent of Nikes when I was in school. And I remember my first pair of Nike's too.

So, I guess I do get it.

Since we skipped the new backpack, and she needs new sneakers anyway...Miss M will be getting a pair of Marc Echo Red sneakers.

I only hope she's allowed to wear them to school.

Maybe she will remember the day she got her first pair of Marc Echo Red's - just like I remember my first pair of Jordache jeans and Nike sneakers.


Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Mean Girls, Mean Girls, What Ya Gonna Do?

Miss M has encountered a Mean Girl.

You know the type. Smile at your face, stab you in the back. Do what I say - or it's lights out!

I knew it was coming. She is, after all, 10 years old. Going into 5th Grade.

And (mean) girls will be (mean) girls.

This girl got in my daughter's face, and told her she was going to punch her lights out if Miss M doesn't "hang" with her at cheerleading.

Miss M only told me this week because cheerleading starts and she doesn't want to cheer all of a sudden. When I asked why, I got the story.


This girl asked Miss M if she was cheering again. Miss M said "Yeah". So this girl says to M, "Well, you better hang with me at cheerleading, and not ....(another girl)....or I will punch you in the face." (so not in a kidding voice - according to Miss M) And then walks away.


Now, Miss M has cheered for three years. She loves being allowed to yell, and jump, and - even better - climb up onto someone else and jump off of them!! (That's for another story)

So her not wanting to cheer bothers me.

But more importantly - having someone bully my daughter - in any way, shape or form- is so not okay with me.

I have talked with Miss M and told her to tell this girl "I don't answer to you. I answer to my parents, and God"

But Miss M is still afraid. What if this girl punches her?

What do I tell her? "Let her hit you, she will get in trouble."

(Yes, I know that's what I should tell her.)

But - and this is the mama lion in me - I want to tell my daughter - hit her right back.

Stand up for yourself. (Really, if I ever see this bully hit my daughter - someone better hold me back)

I know Miss M wouldn't hit this girl.

(Neither would I. But the parents better watch out)

Miss M will cheer. I talked with the cheerleading coach who will keep the two separated. (last year they stood side by side - same height)

That has made Miss M feel better.

I have also told her again..."No one can tell you to do something you don't want to do. You have the power to control your actions. You must listen to your parents, teacher, and God."

Then - in some light of wisdom from above - I told Miss M, if she gets in your face - be the bigger person.

Tell her - "You cannot tell me what to do. I am tired of you getting in my face. Leave me alone"

And walk away.

Now I need to remember to be the bigger person, and let Miss M fight her own fight.

Til next time, I'll still be

Being Brenda

DIAMONDS are forever!

I am too excited!!

Tomorrow night - I will be sitting at the Neil Diamond concert with my mom and sister!!

Who doesn't know - and sing along to - Sweet Caroline, I Am I Said, America, Forever in Blue Jeans and so many others?

I cannot wait to be there.

My sister and I are Neil fans, because our mom was a Neil fan. And we have a very cool mom - always did - just didn't always admit to knowing it.

We were raised listening to his songs....mom danced around, and so did we. At times, we rolled our eyes as she embarrassed us. But we remember those times like they were yesterday, and each and every word to his songs.

We are planning a whole day event too. I am meeting my mom at her house a little after noon and we are driving together to my sister's house. We will all get ready together - then go to dinner before the show. We are spending the night at my sister's house as well.

My hubby is working this weekend, so he arranged for the kiddies to be with his parents, until Sunday afternoon.

So I get to spend this extra-ordinary day and night with my mom and my sister. Me, Lizzie (mom), and Kiki(sister).

I even took time for myself these past two days. Yesterday, I bought a new, too cute black and white top to wear with black pants. Tonight, I gave myself a mani-pedi!! Bright red polish now adorns my finger and toenails!!

After all, no one can go see Neil without getting a little dressed up!! I will wear my silver strappy heals, and put on a little bling just for the occasion. Anyone who knows me, knows I spend most of my time in jeans, shorts, sweats, and t-shirts. Except for Sunday church, but it is still nothing like tomorrow night.

But tomorrow night is special. I am spending time with two of the most amazing women I know. It will be a celebration of us. How far each of us has come in life. Knowing we are always there for each other. Supporting each other - in our times of joy, struggles, and triumphs. Being honest, both in praise and criticism - to make one another aware, better, and stronger.

Lizzie and Kiki are special. Without them, I would be - lost. They are my sounding board, my support, my lifeline, where I go to vent, for advice, for reassurance. And I know I provide that to them as well.

Tomorrow night, we will celebrate us.

And Neil of course, because Diamonds are Forever!!


Til next time, I'll still be.....

Being Brenda

Mrs. Practicality

I do not delight in being the practical one.

Between my husband and I, I am always the person looking at the practicality of things.

In my mind, I believe that it is typically husband's who are more frugal and practical in purchases and spending; while wives are slightly more impulsive and carefree in their spending. Please correct me if I am wrong.

This role, of Mrs. Practicality, has just become painfully clear to me this weekend.

Let me begin by stating that from the beginning of November until the beginning of January, our family is inundated with special events and holidays this year: two 20th year class reunions, eight birthdays (including my my son's 7th and my mom's 60th), Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

Now, we have known about these events all year. And as a one-income family, we have had to monitor our spending all year in preparation for these special events and holidays.

So, last week when my husband's best friend called to say he was getting married, we were excited.

Until he told us it was in Disney World. In Florida. At the end of October.

Taking a trip to Disney, with a family of four, is not a cheap trip. It is a financial event which, even in a dual-income family, typically must be planned well in advance and saved for. We are a single-income family, and we have not planned for a trip to Disney.

Plus, I am not in favor of telling Drewby his birthday will now be celebrated by the four of us in Disney. For an entire year, he has been asking for a birthday party with his friends. He will be seven and has only ever had one birthday party with a few friends. We have told him since last year, "You can have a party when you turn 7". That is this November.

I am also not in favor of telling my children that Santa (yes, Miss M still wants to believe) will be leaving less presents if we go to Disney. And, unfortunately, that is the cold, hard truth.

I have run the numbers many different ways. Flying, driving, staying in the park, staying out of the park, doing five days in Florida, doing only three days in Florida: I just do not see an economically feasible way for us to add another financial commitment into the mix at that time of year.

Hubby really wants to go to his friends wedding. I understand that. I have told my husband he can go to the wedding alone, but he will need to figure a way to tell the children why he is going and we are not. I am not trying to make him out to be the bad guy, but get him to see that we cannot always afford to do what we want.

Mrs. Practicality. That's me. Again.

Hubby knows, deep down, we cannot do this trip. And I know in my heart, he will decide the right thing.

Til next time, I'll still be....

Being Brenda

Home Again

Well, we are home from our mini-cation.

A three-day trip actually became a two day trip. Let me explain.

I know my husband is never on time. Well, let me clarify: he is on time for work, and was on time for our wedding (13 years ago this October).

So why did I think we would leave our house by 9 am on Friday? Oh, I know...I live in Fantasy Land. And it is a great place, everything always goes as I plan - with no surprises, and everything is within my control. This is a great place - as long as I don't have to leave.

Well, 9 am Friday came and went. We did not leave our house until 10:40 am. Now I know, that does not sound like a big difference. But to me, it was. I had planned (in Fantasy Land) that leaving by 9 am put us at the beach house by 12 noon. Plenty of time to actually get to the beach by 1 pm and spend a day playing in the surf and sand. Leaving at 10:40 am did not.

We hit afternoon traffic through Philly, and more traffic in Jersey than I anticipated.

So we did not get to the beach house until 1:45 pm. Not in time to see the surf or sand that day.

We did get to see some amazing nature at work that evening. Inside our gazebo we had this huge caterpillar start to make a cocoon. He crawled all the way to the top of one side, and began spinning his silk. It was amazing. By the end of the night, word got around the campground and about 10 kids had stopped by to see the caterpillar at work.

So Saturday would be a beach day, right?

No. Such. Luck.

We had probably the most severe thunder storm I have ever experienced while at our beach house. Within the first 5 minutes, we lost power. (This is the first time any of us have been at our beach house in a power outage - hubby was not happy)

Double whammy. I am prepared for rainy days at the beach house. We have two video game systems for the kids to play.

News Flash! They don't work without power.

Once the rain stopped, and the rivers, I mean streets, dries up, the kids were able to ride their bikes.

Oh, and did you know the pool in our campground cannot be opened if there is no electric? I didn't - until Saturday.

( You are probably thinking - why didn't you take the kids and go DO something? Right? I have learned the hard way - Do. Not. Go. Anywhere. at the beach on a Saturday. The weekly vacationers are arriving and traffic is HORRIBLE)


Electric was restored around 1:30 pm. The pool opened around 4pm. Enough time for Miss M to go hang out with her friends (she passed her pool exam this year and can go without a parent). Drewby had daddy take him to the pool for swim time. At six, he has four more year until he can take his swim test. (We hear how unfair that is on a regular basis.)

Saturday night was fun. Our beach house neighbors were down and had a birthday party for their son, and invited my kids over. They had a great time with a pinata and cake.

Miss M delighted in informing my that "Daddy is outside - talking to a girl!" At the age of 10, this must seem like a big deal: telling mommy that daddy is outside talking to a pretty girl. (It was the neighbor's sister-in-law) I did have to tease my husband about what Miss M said for, oh, at least 1/2 hour.

Later, the adults all sat around listening to music, talking, and having some cocktails.

Sunday was a great day. We did finally get to hit the beach. Surf, sand, and sun. And LOTS of people. (I typically do not like LOTS of people - more on that in a future post)

True to form, Miss M did not go in the water. (See "Cosmetic Enhancements" Fact of the Day for why) Although she did dig a hole in the sand deep enough to hit water.

Drewby, on the other hand, had a blast. Daddy took him out deep (to Drewby's chest), in the freezing cold water, and taught him how to boogie board. He had a blast. (I will post a pic as soon as I figure out how)

The drive home was uneventful. And the 3-day mini-cation served it's purpose. Family relaxation and fun.

I think we may head back for one last beach fling before school starts. Because, one day of preparing is so worth the time at the beach.


Til next time, I'll still be...

Being Brenda

Remembering Maria

Today, Maria would have been 39 years old.

Maria was one of my good friends. We met through our daughters - they were in Kindergarten together and danced together. And Maria was their dance teacher.

She showed our daughters, and many other girls, that dancing was a sport. It took skill, grace, determination, focus, effort, and sacrifice. All the while, showing them how to have fun and believe in themselves.

To many of her students, she was more than a teacher; she was a mentor, a confidant, and a friend.

Maria was a competitor. She taught our daughters how to compete with grace, win with grace, and most importantly - how to lose gracefully (although as a group, they did not lose very often).

She was a wonderful wife and mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. She had a radiant smile and could warm a room with her presence.

Maria passed away suddenly on June 9th, 2006.

Happy Birthday, Maria. Always will I miss you; Never will I forget you.


Til next time, I'll still be...


Being Brenda

Mini-cation

We are blessed to have a beach "house" available to us whenever we want to use it. I place the "house" in quotes as it is really a 30' travel trailer with a permanent addition. It is located is a great little, gated campground located 10 minutes from two popular beach towns. It is about a 2 1/2 hour drive from our home.

Earlier this summer, I spent an entire day preparing from me and the two kids to head to the beach house for a month. My hubby works nights, and gets a lot of overtime in the summer, so it is easier for me and him for me and the kids to be at the beach house. Plus, he is not really a beach or campground person.

So today, I once again spent an entire day getting ready to head to the beach, this time all four of us, plus my mom (she owns the place). The only difference, we are only going for three days.

I have to ask myself: is it really worth this effort for three days?

I have to get the laundry done, all 5 loads - so I don't come home to it. (But it has been there all week)

With the kids home all day, breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be made. And all the dishes cleaned up. (I cannot believe the amount of dishes a family of four makes dirty in one day). I would use paper plates if my children were not so environmentally aware!

And now here I still am trying to gather clothing, shoes, bathing suits and towels for out trip.

I am not trying to be unappreciative or ungrateful for what we have, it just seems like a lot for three days.

And now my daughter has informed me that she will go the the beach if she has to, but she will not go in the ocean. (See Fact of the Day from earlier post for her reason why!)

I know we will have a great time once we get there. Having my mom in the van on the way down will definitely make the trip somewhat easier. She will help keep the kids from the constant nagging: "She's looking at me", "He's touching my seat", etc, etc, etc. However, having mom in the car adds at least one stop midway to the beach for a bathroom break. She claims the kids need to stop as well. (Funny, they never need to stop when it's just me with them)

My son will be in heaven since daddy will be along this time. When I had the two kids at the beach alone, by son told me he wanted daddy to be there because "He's the funner parent". This simply meant he would take my son out into deeper water. I couldn't do that since my daughter wanted to stay in the sand.

Additionally, the kids get a certain freedom at the campground they don't have here at home. With it being a small, gated community, I allow them to ride their bikes to the playground (walkie-talkie and cell phone in tow). They have made friends from different areas of the state, and have no responsibilities like at home - no making beds, emptying the dishwasher, or running the vacuum. We will have a campfire, make s'mores and have some old-fashioned family fun.

This will also be our last chance for a weekend get-away before back to school and football and cheerleading start.

So, I will answer my own question: yes, all today's work is worth it for a three day mini-cation. I get to relax and spend quality time with my family. And that's what summer is all about!

Fact of the Day:

I read somewhere (can't remember where) the word "ALMOST" is the longest word in the English language that has all it's letters in alphabetical order.

Til next time, I'll still be

Being Brenda

JoBro Mania!

JoBro Mania is in full swing at our house!

For those of you who don't know (have you had your heads in the sand?) the JoBros is the affectionate name for The Jonas Brothers - THE Boy Band of 2008. They are a group of 3 brothers, Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas, who sing up-beat, young teen pop music.

My daughter, Miss M first heard the Jonas Brothers in 2007, then she was thrilled when she learned they were the opening act for the Hannah Montana tour, which we were lucky enough to get tickets to see.

She quickly decided the youngest Jonas Brother, Nick, was HER crush. She has posters plastered on her walls, and uses allowance money to buy the magazines with articles about him.

Forward to 2008 - we have now seen the Jonas Brothers headline their own tour in March 2008, and again, just last week, in Hershey, PA. Miss M be-bopped along, singing her heart out to every song. Dancing in her seat. Full of smiles, and oh-so-grown-up.

And each and every time Nick sang, was shown on the large screens, or talked, she beamed. He was, after all, talking and singing, just for HER. (forget the other 29,999 screaming fans in the stadium)

After the concert, she danced outside our Explorer in the parking lot (since we were going nowhere for awhile) She chatted with some of the other girls, from as far away as Maryland and New York, singing and dancing to Jonas Brothers songs blaring from their or their parents car stereos.

She declared that night the BEST night of her summer.

Oh, the memories of being young and having a crush on someone famous. Shawn Cassidy was my first crush. I saw him in concert when I was the same age as my daughter, 10.

And I still remember that night, 28 years later.

Til next time, I'll still be

Being Brenda

Cosmetic Enhancements

I have to ask...how do you explain to your children why some people have their bodies cosmetically enhanced?

Now I know some (well, two) of the obvious answers: illness and accidents. Illness was how I explained Ashley Tisdale's new nose in Popstar Magazine photos as compared to her nose in High School Musical I and II to by 10-year old daughter. And Ashley herself helped emphasize that reasoning - nasal/sinus issues caused her to have the nose job - not vanity. By the way, both my daughter and I preferred Ashley's original nose better.

I am more interested in how to explain enhancements when it is someone you know, who is not famous, ill or in an accident - but has been cosmetically enhanced. Case in point, I took my two kids, ages 10 and 6 into their school last week to check on uniform requirements. As we were leaving the school, we saw another mom walking into the school. This mom has a daughter in my daughter's grade. It was quite noticeable to me, and pretty much anyone else who knew her last year, she has had some "work" done over the summer. Now, my daughter and son did not notice at the time, but I did. Which prompted my thoughts.

I am trying to instill in my children they need to love themselves and their bodies. It is not always easy with a 10-year old daughter. This summer, it has become quite obvious to her that most of her friends are developing and, so far, she is not. I have explained to her that all girls develop at different times, and in different proportions, and her time will come. But I wonder how I will explain this once she notices? (And it will be noticed as this mom volunteers regularly at school).

I know the obvious is to tell her that this mom was not happy with her body the way it was and had it changed. And that is probably the truth. I just wonder how many of the girls in my daughter's grade, including my daughter, will still feel comfortable with their slower development, in light of a parent who so obviously was not?

My heart goes out to this other daughter as well. Imagine the questions and comments she will have to field at the young age of 10? And I am sure it will be from both boys and girls.

In the meantime, I will continue to assure my daughter her development will occur - but on God's schedule for her. And remind her to continue being a little girl while she can, growing up happens all too quickly.

On a side note: I have resisted my urge to call my best friend, who also has a daughter in my daughter's grade, to fill her in on this latest scoop. One way I am trying to grow as a person and parent.

FACT OF THE DAY!

As I watched Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, I learned Bull Sharks are implicated in more shark attacks than any other species of shark. This is probably due to the fact that Bull Sharks are able to survive in both salt water and fresh water.

Til next time, I'll still be

Being Brenda