I do not delight in being the practical one.
Between my husband and I, I am always the person looking at the practicality of things.
In my mind, I believe that it is typically husband's who are more frugal and practical in purchases and spending; while wives are slightly more impulsive and carefree in their spending. Please correct me if I am wrong.
This role, of Mrs. Practicality, has just become painfully clear to me this weekend.
Let me begin by stating that from the beginning of November until the beginning of January, our family is inundated with special events and holidays this year: two 20th year class reunions, eight birthdays (including my my son's 7th and my mom's 60th), Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.
Now, we have known about these events all year. And as a one-income family, we have had to monitor our spending all year in preparation for these special events and holidays.
So, last week when my husband's best friend called to say he was getting married, we were excited.
Until he told us it was in Disney World. In Florida. At the end of October.
Taking a trip to Disney, with a family of four, is not a cheap trip. It is a financial event which, even in a dual-income family, typically must be planned well in advance and saved for. We are a single-income family, and we have not planned for a trip to Disney.
Plus, I am not in favor of telling Drewby his birthday will now be celebrated by the four of us in Disney. For an entire year, he has been asking for a birthday party with his friends. He will be seven and has only ever had one birthday party with a few friends. We have told him since last year, "You can have a party when you turn 7". That is this November.
I am also not in favor of telling my children that Santa (yes, Miss M still wants to believe) will be leaving less presents if we go to Disney. And, unfortunately, that is the cold, hard truth.
I have run the numbers many different ways. Flying, driving, staying in the park, staying out of the park, doing five days in Florida, doing only three days in Florida: I just do not see an economically feasible way for us to add another financial commitment into the mix at that time of year.
Hubby really wants to go to his friends wedding. I understand that. I have told my husband he can go to the wedding alone, but he will need to figure a way to tell the children why he is going and we are not. I am not trying to make him out to be the bad guy, but get him to see that we cannot always afford to do what we want.
Mrs. Practicality. That's me. Again.
Hubby knows, deep down, we cannot do this trip. And I know in my heart, he will decide the right thing.
Til next time, I'll still be....
Being Brenda
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Home Again
Well, we are home from our mini-cation.
A three-day trip actually became a two day trip. Let me explain.
I know my husband is never on time. Well, let me clarify: he is on time for work, and was on time for our wedding (13 years ago this October).
So why did I think we would leave our house by 9 am on Friday? Oh, I know...I live in Fantasy Land. And it is a great place, everything always goes as I plan - with no surprises, and everything is within my control. This is a great place - as long as I don't have to leave.
Well, 9 am Friday came and went. We did not leave our house until 10:40 am. Now I know, that does not sound like a big difference. But to me, it was. I had planned (in Fantasy Land) that leaving by 9 am put us at the beach house by 12 noon. Plenty of time to actually get to the beach by 1 pm and spend a day playing in the surf and sand. Leaving at 10:40 am did not.
We hit afternoon traffic through Philly, and more traffic in Jersey than I anticipated.
So we did not get to the beach house until 1:45 pm. Not in time to see the surf or sand that day.
We did get to see some amazing nature at work that evening. Inside our gazebo we had this huge caterpillar start to make a cocoon. He crawled all the way to the top of one side, and began spinning his silk. It was amazing. By the end of the night, word got around the campground and about 10 kids had stopped by to see the caterpillar at work.
So Saturday would be a beach day, right?
No. Such. Luck.
We had probably the most severe thunder storm I have ever experienced while at our beach house. Within the first 5 minutes, we lost power. (This is the first time any of us have been at our beach house in a power outage - hubby was not happy)
Double whammy. I am prepared for rainy days at the beach house. We have two video game systems for the kids to play.
News Flash! They don't work without power.
Once the rain stopped, and the rivers, I mean streets, dries up, the kids were able to ride their bikes.
Oh, and did you know the pool in our campground cannot be opened if there is no electric? I didn't - until Saturday.
( You are probably thinking - why didn't you take the kids and go DO something? Right? I have learned the hard way - Do. Not. Go. Anywhere. at the beach on a Saturday. The weekly vacationers are arriving and traffic is HORRIBLE)
Electric was restored around 1:30 pm. The pool opened around 4pm. Enough time for Miss M to go hang out with her friends (she passed her pool exam this year and can go without a parent). Drewby had daddy take him to the pool for swim time. At six, he has four more year until he can take his swim test. (We hear how unfair that is on a regular basis.)
Saturday night was fun. Our beach house neighbors were down and had a birthday party for their son, and invited my kids over. They had a great time with a pinata and cake.
Miss M delighted in informing my that "Daddy is outside - talking to a girl!" At the age of 10, this must seem like a big deal: telling mommy that daddy is outside talking to a pretty girl. (It was the neighbor's sister-in-law) I did have to tease my husband about what Miss M said for, oh, at least 1/2 hour.
Later, the adults all sat around listening to music, talking, and having some cocktails.
Sunday was a great day. We did finally get to hit the beach. Surf, sand, and sun. And LOTS of people. (I typically do not like LOTS of people - more on that in a future post)
True to form, Miss M did not go in the water. (See "Cosmetic Enhancements" Fact of the Day for why) Although she did dig a hole in the sand deep enough to hit water.
Drewby, on the other hand, had a blast. Daddy took him out deep (to Drewby's chest), in the freezing cold water, and taught him how to boogie board. He had a blast. (I will post a pic as soon as I figure out how)
The drive home was uneventful. And the 3-day mini-cation served it's purpose. Family relaxation and fun.
I think we may head back for one last beach fling before school starts. Because, one day of preparing is so worth the time at the beach.
Til next time, I'll still be...
Being Brenda
A three-day trip actually became a two day trip. Let me explain.
I know my husband is never on time. Well, let me clarify: he is on time for work, and was on time for our wedding (13 years ago this October).
So why did I think we would leave our house by 9 am on Friday? Oh, I know...I live in Fantasy Land. And it is a great place, everything always goes as I plan - with no surprises, and everything is within my control. This is a great place - as long as I don't have to leave.
Well, 9 am Friday came and went. We did not leave our house until 10:40 am. Now I know, that does not sound like a big difference. But to me, it was. I had planned (in Fantasy Land) that leaving by 9 am put us at the beach house by 12 noon. Plenty of time to actually get to the beach by 1 pm and spend a day playing in the surf and sand. Leaving at 10:40 am did not.
We hit afternoon traffic through Philly, and more traffic in Jersey than I anticipated.
So we did not get to the beach house until 1:45 pm. Not in time to see the surf or sand that day.
We did get to see some amazing nature at work that evening. Inside our gazebo we had this huge caterpillar start to make a cocoon. He crawled all the way to the top of one side, and began spinning his silk. It was amazing. By the end of the night, word got around the campground and about 10 kids had stopped by to see the caterpillar at work.
So Saturday would be a beach day, right?
No. Such. Luck.
We had probably the most severe thunder storm I have ever experienced while at our beach house. Within the first 5 minutes, we lost power. (This is the first time any of us have been at our beach house in a power outage - hubby was not happy)
Double whammy. I am prepared for rainy days at the beach house. We have two video game systems for the kids to play.
News Flash! They don't work without power.
Once the rain stopped, and the rivers, I mean streets, dries up, the kids were able to ride their bikes.
Oh, and did you know the pool in our campground cannot be opened if there is no electric? I didn't - until Saturday.
( You are probably thinking - why didn't you take the kids and go DO something? Right? I have learned the hard way - Do. Not. Go. Anywhere. at the beach on a Saturday. The weekly vacationers are arriving and traffic is HORRIBLE)
Electric was restored around 1:30 pm. The pool opened around 4pm. Enough time for Miss M to go hang out with her friends (she passed her pool exam this year and can go without a parent). Drewby had daddy take him to the pool for swim time. At six, he has four more year until he can take his swim test. (We hear how unfair that is on a regular basis.)
Saturday night was fun. Our beach house neighbors were down and had a birthday party for their son, and invited my kids over. They had a great time with a pinata and cake.
Miss M delighted in informing my that "Daddy is outside - talking to a girl!" At the age of 10, this must seem like a big deal: telling mommy that daddy is outside talking to a pretty girl. (It was the neighbor's sister-in-law) I did have to tease my husband about what Miss M said for, oh, at least 1/2 hour.
Later, the adults all sat around listening to music, talking, and having some cocktails.
Sunday was a great day. We did finally get to hit the beach. Surf, sand, and sun. And LOTS of people. (I typically do not like LOTS of people - more on that in a future post)
True to form, Miss M did not go in the water. (See "Cosmetic Enhancements" Fact of the Day for why) Although she did dig a hole in the sand deep enough to hit water.
Drewby, on the other hand, had a blast. Daddy took him out deep (to Drewby's chest), in the freezing cold water, and taught him how to boogie board. He had a blast. (I will post a pic as soon as I figure out how)
The drive home was uneventful. And the 3-day mini-cation served it's purpose. Family relaxation and fun.
I think we may head back for one last beach fling before school starts. Because, one day of preparing is so worth the time at the beach.
Til next time, I'll still be...
Being Brenda
Remembering Maria
Today, Maria would have been 39 years old.
Maria was one of my good friends. We met through our daughters - they were in Kindergarten together and danced together. And Maria was their dance teacher.
She showed our daughters, and many other girls, that dancing was a sport. It took skill, grace, determination, focus, effort, and sacrifice. All the while, showing them how to have fun and believe in themselves.
To many of her students, she was more than a teacher; she was a mentor, a confidant, and a friend.
Maria was a competitor. She taught our daughters how to compete with grace, win with grace, and most importantly - how to lose gracefully (although as a group, they did not lose very often).
She was a wonderful wife and mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. She had a radiant smile and could warm a room with her presence.
Maria passed away suddenly on June 9th, 2006.
Happy Birthday, Maria. Always will I miss you; Never will I forget you.
Til next time, I'll still be...
Being Brenda
Maria was one of my good friends. We met through our daughters - they were in Kindergarten together and danced together. And Maria was their dance teacher.
She showed our daughters, and many other girls, that dancing was a sport. It took skill, grace, determination, focus, effort, and sacrifice. All the while, showing them how to have fun and believe in themselves.
To many of her students, she was more than a teacher; she was a mentor, a confidant, and a friend.
Maria was a competitor. She taught our daughters how to compete with grace, win with grace, and most importantly - how to lose gracefully (although as a group, they did not lose very often).
She was a wonderful wife and mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. She had a radiant smile and could warm a room with her presence.
Maria passed away suddenly on June 9th, 2006.
Happy Birthday, Maria. Always will I miss you; Never will I forget you.
Til next time, I'll still be...
Being Brenda
Friday, August 1, 2008
Mini-cation
We are blessed to have a beach "house" available to us whenever we want to use it. I place the "house" in quotes as it is really a 30' travel trailer with a permanent addition. It is located is a great little, gated campground located 10 minutes from two popular beach towns. It is about a 2 1/2 hour drive from our home.
Earlier this summer, I spent an entire day preparing from me and the two kids to head to the beach house for a month. My hubby works nights, and gets a lot of overtime in the summer, so it is easier for me and him for me and the kids to be at the beach house. Plus, he is not really a beach or campground person.
So today, I once again spent an entire day getting ready to head to the beach, this time all four of us, plus my mom (she owns the place). The only difference, we are only going for three days.
I have to ask myself: is it really worth this effort for three days?
I have to get the laundry done, all 5 loads - so I don't come home to it. (But it has been there all week)
With the kids home all day, breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be made. And all the dishes cleaned up. (I cannot believe the amount of dishes a family of four makes dirty in one day). I would use paper plates if my children were not so environmentally aware!
And now here I still am trying to gather clothing, shoes, bathing suits and towels for out trip.
I am not trying to be unappreciative or ungrateful for what we have, it just seems like a lot for three days.
And now my daughter has informed me that she will go the the beach if she has to, but she will not go in the ocean. (See Fact of the Day from earlier post for her reason why!)
I know we will have a great time once we get there. Having my mom in the van on the way down will definitely make the trip somewhat easier. She will help keep the kids from the constant nagging: "She's looking at me", "He's touching my seat", etc, etc, etc. However, having mom in the car adds at least one stop midway to the beach for a bathroom break. She claims the kids need to stop as well. (Funny, they never need to stop when it's just me with them)
My son will be in heaven since daddy will be along this time. When I had the two kids at the beach alone, by son told me he wanted daddy to be there because "He's the funner parent". This simply meant he would take my son out into deeper water. I couldn't do that since my daughter wanted to stay in the sand.
Additionally, the kids get a certain freedom at the campground they don't have here at home. With it being a small, gated community, I allow them to ride their bikes to the playground (walkie-talkie and cell phone in tow). They have made friends from different areas of the state, and have no responsibilities like at home - no making beds, emptying the dishwasher, or running the vacuum. We will have a campfire, make s'mores and have some old-fashioned family fun.
This will also be our last chance for a weekend get-away before back to school and football and cheerleading start.
So, I will answer my own question: yes, all today's work is worth it for a three day mini-cation. I get to relax and spend quality time with my family. And that's what summer is all about!
Fact of the Day:
I read somewhere (can't remember where) the word "ALMOST" is the longest word in the English language that has all it's letters in alphabetical order.
Til next time, I'll still be
Being Brenda
Earlier this summer, I spent an entire day preparing from me and the two kids to head to the beach house for a month. My hubby works nights, and gets a lot of overtime in the summer, so it is easier for me and him for me and the kids to be at the beach house. Plus, he is not really a beach or campground person.
So today, I once again spent an entire day getting ready to head to the beach, this time all four of us, plus my mom (she owns the place). The only difference, we are only going for three days.
I have to ask myself: is it really worth this effort for three days?
I have to get the laundry done, all 5 loads - so I don't come home to it. (But it has been there all week)
With the kids home all day, breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be made. And all the dishes cleaned up. (I cannot believe the amount of dishes a family of four makes dirty in one day). I would use paper plates if my children were not so environmentally aware!
And now here I still am trying to gather clothing, shoes, bathing suits and towels for out trip.
I am not trying to be unappreciative or ungrateful for what we have, it just seems like a lot for three days.
And now my daughter has informed me that she will go the the beach if she has to, but she will not go in the ocean. (See Fact of the Day from earlier post for her reason why!)
I know we will have a great time once we get there. Having my mom in the van on the way down will definitely make the trip somewhat easier. She will help keep the kids from the constant nagging: "She's looking at me", "He's touching my seat", etc, etc, etc. However, having mom in the car adds at least one stop midway to the beach for a bathroom break. She claims the kids need to stop as well. (Funny, they never need to stop when it's just me with them)
My son will be in heaven since daddy will be along this time. When I had the two kids at the beach alone, by son told me he wanted daddy to be there because "He's the funner parent". This simply meant he would take my son out into deeper water. I couldn't do that since my daughter wanted to stay in the sand.
Additionally, the kids get a certain freedom at the campground they don't have here at home. With it being a small, gated community, I allow them to ride their bikes to the playground (walkie-talkie and cell phone in tow). They have made friends from different areas of the state, and have no responsibilities like at home - no making beds, emptying the dishwasher, or running the vacuum. We will have a campfire, make s'mores and have some old-fashioned family fun.
This will also be our last chance for a weekend get-away before back to school and football and cheerleading start.
So, I will answer my own question: yes, all today's work is worth it for a three day mini-cation. I get to relax and spend quality time with my family. And that's what summer is all about!
Fact of the Day:
I read somewhere (can't remember where) the word "ALMOST" is the longest word in the English language that has all it's letters in alphabetical order.
Til next time, I'll still be
Being Brenda
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